Good vs. Bad

I'm not sure what to write about.
How do I express what is going on in our relationship right now?
Why isn't anybody else wanting to blog about what is going on? I'm not
Why am I not comfortable with writing and sharing what we all have been going through?

    I have been feeling rather guilty. About the time that I wrote my last post, Dove pointed out that I don't really share many good things about her. And she is correct. I express how much I love Prince and I tell all about how Dove messes up. That is how my usual post goes. I tell you my feelings on everything the happens. But it has been split between Good and Bad; between Prince and Dove. And yes, this is another post that has nothing to do with the good that I see in Dove.
     How do I write about the good things with Dove when they don't happen very often? Of course, we don't go the whole day glaring at each other from across the room or yelling at each other, making snide comments... We can and do have fun. But it feels forced. And it is usually short lived. I can keep my good mood going through the whole day as long as I am still breathing. I can change a bad mood to a good mood with the help of some friends. But Dove cannot. She has a hard time keeping a smile on her face. She has a hard time not taming her emotions or controlling her thoughts. So when we have a good moment, I'm expecting a sour attitude in the near future.
     To tell the truth... I haven't written because I have been waiting for the perfect [good] thing to write about her. And more truth says that it happened. I was thinking about ways to write about how proud I was and the good experience I had had that night... Until she got home from work.

The night before.
     A simply perfect night. I got the honor of sleeping between both Prince and Dove. Sleeping between them is a huge deal. Prince usually sleeps between us to keep us from getting jealous. He does his best to try to keep it equal between us. I felt like I could sleep between them because I felt comfortable with BOTH of them. I felt comfortable with Dove not getting jealous about me sleeping between her and Prince. And of course, I felt comfortable with OUR Prince. I was proud of Dove. I was truly grateful that she was showing signs of learning how to be a better person. Prince was happy, and that made me happy. I was finally accepting Dove for a Sister... Until the morning came.

The day of.
     According to Dove, there was no trigger. There was no reason for her to be upset. But if you had seen what I saw, you would have to wonder if she was lying to us or to herself. There is absolutely NO excuse for getting physically violent with someone that you supposedly Love. She came in the door pissed off and it only got worse from then on. We had done nothing but be supportive and Loving towards her all day... all week... all month. Fuck, we were there for her when she really didn't deserve anything. But what we got in return was shit. Almost literally. How do I continue to be supportive to a person who is ungrateful and unappreciative as to what we put up with from them? What the fuck am I supposed to say to a person who can't even look you in the eye? What do you say to a person who is almost growling at you for no FUCKING reason. Even a week later, you can tell that I'm still pretty sore about what had happened. I told her once before that if she ever got physical with me that I would never forgive her and I would leave that very moment. The only reason I didn't was because Prince was still there. If it wasn't for him, I would have left the key on the table. After all that we had gotten through, she chooses the day after I accept her completely to Break my Heart. I was Shattered. What the hell do you say to a person who has completely SHATTERED you? The only reason I kept any composure at all was because Prince was there as a reminder for what I wanted more.

     Dove slept on the couch that night while Prince and I slept alone in our King size bed. He didn't sleep very well. But I was so exhausted from the amount of emotion and energy that I passed out almost immediately. Prince made the comment that I had finally gotten what I wanted... A night with just him... He is right, that is what I have wanted for a while now, but not under these circumstances. This was definitely not what I wanted.
     As you can tell, we have not left Dove. Yet. Prince Promised Dove that he would leave if it ever happened again. But he has made that promise before. And not kept it. But this time will be different, he says, and I believe him. He Loves Dove, but he is tired of the bullshit. Time is the most precious commodity on Earth... and we will no longer waist it with bullshit. The truth is that I keep a bag ready so I can make a quick getaway... I'm waiting for her next explosion. This isn't a threat... it is a Promise.

On a better note!
     Dove has shown progress in the past couple of days. She has come to us before she looses control of her thoughts and emotions and she has done very well with her interactions with people overall. I'm seeing good... but I hope that I'm not seeing good that is hiding bad. In other words, if it is all a facade, I will be disappointed, but I won't be surprised.
     She has been more grateful for the way that we treat her and for the fact that we have not lost all hope and left yet. She has accepted all of our support and all of our Love. But when I say that she has been making progress... I can only speak for the past few days... I'm hoping that this hope isn't going to be short lived as well...

Goal!
     Please notice how much of this writing is bad versus how much of this is good... I would say that it is about 60/40 and eventually I want to see more good then bad. That is our goal. And I believe that I have a good enough ideas of all of our intentions to say that it is a goal for ALL of us...